Big moon peeking through the clouds this morning. Another day. New Years’ Eve without any
change in our lifestyle. The tech showed up and fixed the heater and it was
lovely to wake up to a warm house. Maybe he comfort will motivate activity.
Roselle wants to sing The Turning with me. She felt the hope that is in the
words. My voice is so thin and froggy from not using it. And my lungs don’t
help much either. Saying good-bye to 2020 won’t change anything.
No tech. No call. No reliable product. Maybe I need a new
gas company. My old bones need to be warm. After our successful raid on the
grocery store, I settled down to another long day inside. I was not motivated
to pursue anything other than passive involvement with TV. I don’t know where
my self-starter is. I wander by the journal that was fun for a few days and the
song book too. They are not pulling me to action. Hope for a good day.
The boxes of old books are gone thanks to friends Art and
Ellen. They are good at distributing other peoples unused items. They took Hollie’s
boxes of duplicate and unused household things. My osteoporosis arthritis made walking too
much yesterday and the cold doesn’t help either. We are going to the store
early for necessary food and then it’s back to isolation. Had long phone conversation
with Rosalie who is full off seasonal grief. We help each other. Later the thermostat
tech is coming again.
It was a wasted day and I don’t want to repeat it. Rosalie and
I texted early about a brainstorming session by phone later this morning to
share and inspire ourselves out of the dark time trench. She knits, draws,
spins, etc and I am bereft of those skills. I’ll have to drum up my version of saving
my own wellness. I have dog people who help because they need water and food.
Just keeping the basics is a chore and not the usual smiling joy.
Yesterday I binge watched Bridgerton on netliix. It was a
comfortable way to spend a tired day. I had a poor night and a cold morning so
I may go back to bed and look for something else to binge on. The leftover
dinner made a delicious breakfast. I’ll have more ham and add it to soup. It is
definitely a soup day. When my heater finally gets up to 70, I may get dressed
and look around for something productive to do. Or not.
The black cloud has lifted slightly enough so I realize that
the depression is taking away the ability to connect with the family. Yesterday
I was watching the fun and the laughing but not really part of it. The trivial
pursuit game was full of banter and
hilarious moments. The food was delicious. Simple and plentiful. Today I
will push myself into some semblance of “normal”. I will sing, get steps, text,
write a prompt, laugh. The best part was the family hug. Made me pink.
Merry Friday. No Ho Hos around here. Lots of wind moving
things and banging. Art and Ellen came to visit, brought goodies to Chuck, and
fruit for me. I told Jeanine that I missed singing aata church and she brought me
a hymnal and Spiritus book. I sang the Canticle of the turning that is a
hopeful message and fun to sing. I remember that Angeles Arrien said everyone should
sing 15 minute a day. I told Kelle that I would sing it for her.
We were shopping at 6;30. Love the empty store and the
freedom to rove and grab. Dinner tomorrow is ham, yams, squash etc. typical festivities.
My follow up doctor appointment will be by phone. I was told to stay home as
Curry is full of covid. Hollie still made a mad dash to Freddie’s for last
minute items. It’s a crazy world and the crazy 45 is adding to the chaos. I’m
happy in my cozy nest with family. Soon change the calendar and hope.
Visiting with Michele was wonderful and exhausting. She had
stories and I needed to hear them. Our conversations were all over the place
from relatives, to rentals, to cars. She took only three of the old books. When
she left I sort of collapsed and felt drained. I never imagined that talking would
be so difficult. Darn covid. It is uncovering the vulnerability of our mental
well-being. I want to walk today. It will start raining and it will last thee
rest of the year.
I grabbed myself and said Get Moving and walked down town.
It was an effort that made the day better. It’s cold and clear and later, I will do it again. I want
to feel well. But first, housework as Michele is coming this afternoon. Her quarantine
is over. I want her to poke through the books to see if any are interesting. I’m
guessing not but maybe one or two. Ellen has offered to take the rest of them
to the humane society thrift shop.
My Yurok friend Tenayah brought freshly cooked crab. I don’t
like crab but the family does and they enjoyed it. I’m still low energy and the
simplest tasks seem huge. News items about the mental health issues around
isolation and I’m feeling part of that plus the usual seasonal depression. Shortest
day of the year and nowhere to go but to the light. No plans of course. Just do
what I can through another day, Sometimes 85 words are too many. Wish I felt
better.
Darkest days and mood to match. I’m feeling dull and
unmotivated. I only push myself to jog and stretch on the rebounder. It has
saved me from total ennui and I’m grateful for it. Today I will add to the art
journal although I don’t like the prompt. So maybe I’ll get another one that I
do like. Is it legal to change when the prompt is supposed to be guidance? I
ask, What do I need to work on today? And then reject it..
Long chatty call from
Cillay. We laughed at good memories and shared our stories aabout friends wo
are gone already. Aside from taking Jake for a manicure, I did not get outside.
My back pain flared up and I couldn’t walk. Today feels like another cozy day
with the dogs, TV and journal. I’ve been keeping up with the house so it is comfortable
and easy to look at. Doesn’t take much clutter to make it look messy. Not much
going on in my mind.
I didn’t get out but it’s a new day and hope springs
eternal. I want to get outside to help
the caged pacing. The rebounder helps but it is not the same as feet on the
pavement. Had a long call with Kelle and asked when she is going to move into her new home.
She keeps putting it off and I’m saying she’s afraid to leave her parents’
house. She’s 57, time to live alone. Karen is home after 45 days in dry Arizona.
Yesterday was emotionally bumpy. Is it covid fatigue or
seasonal depression? I did feel more stable
by evening and enjoyed Megan’s weekly visit. We hear her life events and share.
She has my copy of Illusions and doesn’t want to give it back. It reminds me of
a happy, bold and experiential time in
my life. Another copy would not be the same. I will get out for a short walk
today. Been cooped up too long. Cold, wet, gray and I have warm clothes.
Inside day and I’m looking forward to feeling warm and cozy.
Yesterday’s page as about loss and I used the nine months of covid as a theme. It
has shown so much about what I feel is
necessary for a good life. Counting my blessings has not been enough. I have
all my needs met except the social ones. I am a people person. I was so happy
to connect with Karen as she has been
gone for 45 days. Just texting but still, connection.
Back from our quick tour of Safeway for fruit and yogurt. It
was unpopulated as usual and that is the point of getting there at 7 AM. Just
another rainy day in paradise. My art page yesterday made me dig deep for meaning.
I came up with the need to express my opinions even when I know there will be
conflict. I have lots of experience with later wishing I had said something at
a crucial time. I can use my words carefully with confidence.
Yesterday was cozy, comfortable, and filled with domestic
contentment. Pounding rain didn’t make a down attitude at all. Two brief walks
outside during the drier times and all the rest in our nest. The change, astrological
or whatever, has been such an enormous relief for the spirit. I made over 10K steps
during commercials. May not be sustained walking but it counts. First time
since October 21st. Today has
started with laundry. It will have house straightening, Just to keep the
comfort going.
Dark and raining hard. I’m ready for an inside day. We have
fresh produce from the farm stand, house is warm, lots of gratitude floating around.
It’s nine months since my first isolating day and the routine is in place. I
made another colorful page in my paper journal following the example of Rosalie
and Eileen who are both concentrating on their own progress. I used a Tarot
card as a prompt and it was appropriate.
I used watercolors and sharpie pens for
my creation.
Weary after a long night with wakeful hours. For some reason my brain decided to trace my
history with St. Paul’s Episcopal Church from meeting Wendell to my 85th
birthday just two weeks before shut-down. I went through every priest changes, the
trouble with Marilla, being Senior Warden twice etc. It is a long story and I
miss having access to my place there. I thought about the Sunday after the
incident with the truck when they prayed thanksgiving for me and sang Amazing Grace.
Yesterday was the best one in weeks! I’m sure part of it was
Rosalie’s support and her idea for a an agenda of anything so I could cross it
off and feel a sense of accomplishment. My hip pain allowed for a walk too,
first one in about three weeks. I’ll repeat the process today. It’s cold but I’ll
sit on the sunporch and sort the last of the books from the house and then
figure out how to get rid of the unusable ones.
We had family happy hour. Megan shares her work stories,
chicken stories, Ben stories. We go off on interesting tangents and get to know
details from each others lives. Rosalie suggested making a list of to-dos to
fill the lack of agenda, and I did. Today I will sort the rest of the books,
clear out my “business cubby” and find a way to bring order so I don’t overlook
another bill. Then, cheese store so I can make a spam Reuben with the sauerkraut.
Yesterday was the pits. I don’t want another one like it. My sanity was almost saved by Marj who brought me gingerbread and lemon curd. Our visit was welcome. Then the long live chat with fitbit that revealed they changed their way off making phones compatible and mine is not. What a rip off! Now what? I kept waiting for the next loss. Rosalie showed up and what a relief to have her share my misery. She brought sauerkraut and took home old books. Best friend.
Fitbit has died or at least it doesn’t sync so it’s no use. Hollie
said she ordered a new one for me. It’s the Inspire tracker and is simpler than
this on. I enjoy the data and like to beat my steps. I like the sleep data too.
Today Rosalie will come for a visit and bring sauerkraut from Cosco. Lots of texting
already this morning. People need contact and I’m ready to hold up my end. My back
is better with stretches and exercise.
I enjoyed a brief visit from Art and Ellen yesterday. We
talked about Fitbits and dogs. Art gave us a recipe for helping JuJu’s itching
and she will get a bath and an apple cider vinegar rinse this morning. We
talked about her separation anxiety and Ellen suggested rescue remedy. I was
happy to have conversation . Lots of texting with Eileen swapping pet photos.
Everyone is contact deprived and we can help each other. Now it’s Monday and we
are already underway to a good one.
Another day in paradise. Another exercise in gratitude
instead of wishing for the missing parts of “normal” life. I feel bone weary
and sleep doesn’t seem to help. I know I’m not alone and that doesn’t seem to
help either. I will look for diversion besides giving in to gravity and sitting
in front of the TV. I have a word puzzle book, coloring pages, books to read, music,
journal and walking. I have texting, e-mail, messenger, and facebook for
connections. I just need motivation.
Clear cold morning and a new day to play with. Yesterday was
full of conversations on Facebook and texting. Connected with lots of people
and that helps keep the doldrums at bay. Hollie brought boxes of books to sort.
They are old from way back in the 70’s and 80’s. Seeker books when I thought
answers were out there. I don’t think anyone will be interested in adopting any
of them and I will offer the classic poetry to Rosalie when she visits next
week.
Another boring post! Gee, I wish I had a brilliant thought
or great experience to write about. When I read this in years to come I will
wonder how I spent all these covid days. Moonlight in the skylight, yellow
roses about to open, good spam sandwich for breakfast. JuJu likes her new kong,
watched TV. Today I will work at achieving more than 5K steps on the rebounder.
Maybe a walk outside if my back allows it. Maybe prune the pear trees or not.
At Safeway at 7 and the tractor store at 8. Well stocked up
for me and the dogs. It is fun to be the early shoppers. Feels safe. The local
numbers are up and extra precaution is necessary. No agenda except a new crossword
puzzle book and a long day to pursue quiet house time. Might get out for a walk around the block or
use the rebounder for steps. I have lots of good nutritious food and did not
stock up on fun snacks..
Cold in my house. Sometimes the thermostat doesn’t function and I wake up in a 56 degree morning. Restless night with anxiety and fear as if everything was moving fast and I didn’t know what was happening. I just calmed myself and took slow breaths. I walked over with my taxes and used the stairs. My hip pain allowed it and I’m glad. I had 6K steps for the first time in a month. Today I’ll do a bit of work and get outside again.
Big deal of the day: turn the page on the calendar. December
starts and it doesn’t make any difference to the lifestyle of covid isolation. Beautiful
cold breezy morning and I’m hoping my back pain will allow for more moving than
I have had lately. If not, then a call to the doctor asking for an X-ray. I
want to walk and bend and dance. Hollie has boxed up my books and I need to
sort and purge. Many haven’ t been touched in decades.
Wet morning. Another day in isolation. Oh well, it’s warm and
cozy and I have everything I need. Hollie went to Walmart before 7AM to get
turmeric. Can’t do without it for our arthritis issues. It’s the only anti-inflammatory
without side effects. No agenda except doing the best with what we have. I have
music, puzzles, journal and TV. House is neat and my steps will be on the
rebounder. I wish I had some marvelous insights into what I’ve learned , but I
don’t.
Last Sunday in November. I miss my church. I miss the people
and the liturgy. I miss singing. I made 5K steps again. Inside on the rebounder.
The dogs and I sat in the sun while they used their noses to explore. Chuck has
cleaned out the fence line behind the lemon trees and they had to find out what
was there. Megan’s pumpkin pie is supposed to actually arrive this morning
after three days of not showing up. They get busy with each other.
Clean laundry to start the day. Fresh bedding and towels. It’s
a productive start and I want it to continue. Megan and Ben are coming over
with the pumpkin pie. They were too busy yesterday to finish the project.
Hollie has the soup going. Not me this time. My gas range won’t simmer so I can’t
make soup. The gas company tech says lower flame is dangerous. I actually moved
enough yesterday to get 5K steps. Felt good. My back doesn’t hurt on the
rebounder.
Went to bed full to the brim with our family meal. It was warm and comfortable. I had a chance to talk to Ben while Megan and Hollie cooked. He is interesting and likeable. Today Megan will come with her fresh pumpkin pie as we never eat it on T-Day. If my hip allows, I will be active. I miss walking and moving around in the yard. Next week I’ll ask for help to find out why I’m having pain. Probably an X-ray will tell
Cold clear Thanksgiving morning with family fun on the horizon.
14 pound turkey along with dressing, mashed potatoes, fruit salad, and garlic
brussels will grace our table. Megan is bummed because her dogs can’t come over. JuJu is too aggressive
for now. We are hoping she settles in and may help her with CBD oil or Benadryl.
We still don’t know all her anxiety behaviors and other quirks but on the
whole, she is fitting in. Lots of laps for her to claim. Oh well.
It’s only 7:30 AM and we are back from shopping for T-day dinner.
There were a few other early birds and we could walk down the up aisles without
worry! It’s purple level now and all the restrictions are in force. Not going
to change us much as we are isolating all the time. I had better energy yesterday
and was grateful for it. Today is wet and cold and I hope to get around the
block. My hip pain is feeling less intrusive.
I had minimum success at staying active yesterday and it’s
still better than having to admit to naps and zoning out. More moving today, I
promise myself at least to walking around the block. Lots of dry stuff to
collect and add to the compost bin. Hollie and I may move books. We’ve talked
about it long enough. Time to put muscle instead of words. Nutrition is good
and house is acceptably neat. I wish I had an agenda besides staying awake and feeling
grateful
I will NOT spend another day comatose. Where are the boot straps that are supposedly
available for lifting up the soul and body? I must do more than sit and watch
TV. It’s mind muddling at best and only marks time. Why am I wishing away my life?
I know better. Hollie and I are going to GO at 8 for a few necessaries like yogurt, bananas and ginger
snaps. We know how to shop! It’s cold and sunny and I will work outside today.
Yummy meal. Nice to have a break in routine. I had the rest
of the fries for breakfast. We have only ordered out a few times in all these
months. Today is cold and gray and I’m not inclined to go out. I did walk
briefly but my hip hurt. It’s been a long time now plus four trips to the
chiropractor so maybe it’s time for an X-ray to see what’s going on. I’m
guessing my problem is arthritis helped along by the cold.
Another bright cold morning. Aside from walking around the yard
yesterday I didn’t leave home. That
makes the public health guys happy but added to the isolation. Hollie
and I sat on the porch and watched the traffic go by. People with places to go
and things to do. Our life is normal for the circumstances but it begins to
weigh heavily at times. Later we are going to order delicious hamburgers from
Seaquake. We aren’t going to eat in although that appeals to me.
The best thing about this week has been the return of some
of our favorite TV series. I realized that I count on getting into the plots and
characters for relief from the sameness. This is us, A million little things,
Grey’s anatomy are three that I like the most. I walked to the post office and will get out again when the temperature
reaches 50. My hip hurts in the cold.
Laundry is done and the floors need attention. Glad to have an agenda.
Little melt down yesterday that I finally overcame with jumping on the rebounder and shaking up the ennui. The endless procession of sameness is tiring. 40 degrees, clear out and I will bundle up and go walking later. I need a change of scenery as well as the fresh air. No journal writing, no reading, no puzzles. Time for discipline to mark progress. I am eating well and enjoying the dogs. Time to reach out again and keep contacts going. It’s exciting to stir up others
The highlight yesterday was happy hour with the family. Megan
came after work and we had conversation and planning for Thanksgiving. Ben will
be here for almost two weeks. Looking forward to a change in the almost identical
days that we have had for many weeks. I’m glad the news is talking about covid
fatigue as it is real and hard to overcome.
I haven’t been successful in socializing as the doctor prescribed. I dropped into sitting and staring at TV
again. Start again today.
Another indoor day with rain and wind. I walked to the post
office and the ATM yesterday and enjoyed every step. Hollie picked up the CD player
and it isn’t working. It will play one disc at a time. I’ll use it and decide
if I want to order another Bose. I like the compact player and the wonderful
tone but I don’t use it often. Hollie and I talked again about our mood swings
and the terrible pressure from outside our safe and warm cocoon.
At Safeway at 7 AM. I get shaky and don’t like it. I wanted beef
as I’m tired of chicken. Found three
pieces of tritip that will make three meals with the vegetables from yesterday.
It’s dry and warmer today and I will go out at least to the post office with my
expensive health insurance check. JuJu doesn’t like the crate but she is safe
and won’t be eating my house. Her separation anxiety is hard to deal with. She
will get used to us.
No, didn’t move again. Inside and flat energy but my mind was better. I wasn’t pacing and wishing for a different scenario. The closet had some sorting and planning and I walked the rrestless dogs around the yard a couple of times. The main rainy day activity is still TV. I didn’t even explore Netflix, just watched old crime shows. Today, for sure, we are going to the farm stand for our fresh goodies. Just getting out in the car might break this uncomfortable trance.
I wore out the covid fatigue yesterday Just surrendered and accepted, again. Today I
woke up with more energy and willingness to engage in household needs. I may
get out and walk later when it gets warmer. The dogs made good cuddle
companions. I appreciate their warm bodies along with the comfort of good
chicken soup. Later Hollie and I will go to the farm stand and take on produce.
Fresh food and fresh air are a good combination. I’ll get my positive attitude back.
Flat day on Thursday and again today. Rain and wind and my
cozy nest is the best place to be. I was deeply tired yesterday and I’m guessing
I just overdid the socializing. It is eight months today that isolation started.
The news is dire and I’m guessing we are in for a lot of in house time until
spring. I have a stock of canned soup and beans, rice and pasta and other easy
meals. Glad Hollie helped me put in some extra supplies.
Four days in a arrow! Yes, Julia picked me up to see her new
apartment and meet her visiting daughter. It was a long day and I am tired this
morning. It’s the first time I was in a store with other people. Other days we
get there at 7 AM when we are nearly alone so the crowd and moving was a shock.
How quickly we adapt to the isolation. The bone can was quick and easy. Curry
is an efficient and friendly place.
Three days in a row with face to face visitors! Michele came
over for a half hour chat and it was wonderful. We find such interesting things
to talk about besides the obvious news. Today we are going to Brookings for errands
and shopping before I go to Curry Medical for the bone scan. I know it will
show osteoporosis as it has been
creeping up for years. I had no luck with medicine earlier as it caused
projectile vomiting. I tried for five weeks.
I completed the cologuard test and it will go to UPS. Then
the tractor store to find a crate for JuJu so she doesn’t freak out when I leave
the house. She needs chew toys too so
she doesn’t chew the house. Yesterday my
social visit to Marj was interesting. She is repairing old quilts with tiny
pieces and tiny stitches. Lovely work. She has promised to come and visit me. Still
avoiding the political news but was elated at the science news about a vaccine.
Nothing happened as expected except Karen’s “victory” scone
with its nutritious goodness. The meeting between Butters and Coda with JuJu
ended badly with Butters aggression. Chuck stepped in and grabbed her but the damage
was done. . It’s freezing this morning and I am ready for a hot breakfast. Later,
I will walk to Marj’s house and visit
for a while. I will have scarf, hat, and gloves for the 10 block walk. I’m avoiding
the news. Don’t like the crybaby’s whipping up his fellow losers.
No progress yesterday. Felt tired and deeply sad. One brief walk as my back felt better. I’ve been stretching a lot and that helps. Church service is still outdoors at Gayle’s and it’s too cold and damp for me. Karen Quivey is coming for a visit after church. I’m looking forward to seeing her. She’s bringing me one of her famous scones. Karen says she hasn’t written a word since Tea and Stories stopped. I haven’t either. Hoping for movement today in house and yard.
It was sad to sit with Minnie as she left us. Hollie and I
both had hands and faces on her telling her how much she’d been loved. I talked
to her in the night kind of reviewing her 12 years with us. She was a sweet presence.
Today, no agenda although I feel the need to do some sorting in the house. The book
cases are still calling for attention. It’s been more than six months since the
move and I have decisions to make.
Another beautiful fall morning. Rain is forecast for
tomorrow. Today I want to pull weeds in the rose garden. I had a brief walk and
my back yelled again. Darn it all. It’s been long enough. I had long texting
conversations again l Don’t think I had four hours of socializing but felt
connected. JuJu now has a chip. She weighs eleven pounds. She needs a collar
since her foster mom hasn’t come with her things yet. Lindsay is having separation
anxiety. JuJu is integrated.
Yes, Jesse did find another patch to take off. The sun
worshipping from decades is showing up now. Yesterday was the best walking I’ve
had since my back hurt three weeks ago. I am finally getting back to normal.
Most of yesterday’s socializing was by text and messenger but it was plentiful.
Laundry is put away, vacuuming done, bed made, now for a big breakfast. Might
call Michele and make a date for tomorrow. The election news is discouraging
for positive change in my country,
Big event today is a derm appointment. I don’t think Jesse
will find any spots to slice off. Later,
Hollie and I will go to Wild Rivers market for sandwiches, zinc and nutritional
yeast that were prescribed my doc. Zinc
for immune strength and yeast for vitamin B12. It’s election day. I will avoid
news.. I want to find new ways to fill my social four hours. Maybe my sore hip with
allow for a good walk. I don’t like tottering like an old lady.
Juliet wants to sit on my lap but I can’t write that way. I
did well with my connections yesterday and am already off to aa busy start
today. It is easier than I thought it would be to reach out but what I am learning
is that everyone on my list is happy to get a shout out and the reward is news and
comfort. Even my minute long conversations while walking count as socializing.
I need housework and laundry. Daily routine stuff today.
I reached out. Had two phone conversations, multiple text
connections, messagings, a date for a walk, invitations to zoom, and face visit.
Good day. Probably not four social hours but definitely a doable prescription.
Later, text from Sarah about a dog followed by a phone call and a visit with
Juliet who now resides with us. Today I will visit with Ben and Megan. We are
going to the last farmers’ market to get lunch at Rebecca’s stand. I’m busy solving the social connection
prescription.
Day 249
The labs were good. I’m doing fine with nutrition and
exercise. Stage one renal disease but
not to worry.. Maybe in a few years. The big prescription was to plan four
hours a day of socialization. I went to Facebook and asked for help and was astounded
by the support. Lots of people will help with planning for walks, visits, and
talks. I may have helped people see their need too. We have to do everything
within covid restrictions that keep our mental health strong.
Cold and clear with the moon looking amazing at 5 AM. It’s
huge and filling for Halloween’s blue moon. This afternoon is my appointment
with Dr. P. Lots of test results to go over and plan for the future of my
health. That’s what I want, guidance and support. I walked down to check on my
CD player. It’s not fixed yet but it will be soon. I miss music. With the dark
coming, I need the beat to get me moving. Ready, aim, fire!
Finally connected with anti-biotics and now on the road to
recovery. Time with Michele was pleasant and easy. We talked a lot about her
writing and ways she can sort and process
experiences. She, like all of us, has
had an eventful and interesting life. Starting the day with a trip to the
grocery store and then the last farmers’ market of the season. We can still go
to the farm stand in Fort Dick all year. Beautiful cool and clear fall morning.
Let’s go.
Well, another uncomfortable day without help with the UTI.
Hollie is checking with the doctor about the test on Friday. Aside from that,
my agenda is to dust and straighten up my house. That takes about 15 minutes.
Michele wants to come over and talk. She has some news she wants to process
with me. I’m glad to do that for my friend. We all have times when we need to
talk to someone who is not involved in the issue. I have reliable ears.
Monday Monday. No agenda except trying to feel well enough
to participate in my routine. Maybe even get a walk. I like to enjoy the clear cold
air and feel the activity. Too much inside lately due to not feeling up to
jumping and singing. I dusted and put things away and that will be my goal
again. Simply enjoying what is available and maybe sorting books for give away
or keep. Not many have been used in years. Make room for Hollie’s books.
Not well. Restless night and tired start for Sunday. I’m
still learning how to use my heater. Haven’t needed it until this week and it’s
a new system to me. The room has such high ceilings that I have to use the fan to circulate the heat. Today
my plan is to duplicate yesterday by curling up with a pillow and blanket and pretend
to watch TV as I nap. It’s sthe best I can do until I connect with medication. And
so it goes.
No socializing. I had a sudden illness that is a UTI. And
another call from Sutter lab and I messed up one test and have to go back
again. Darn it all, is this ever going to be finished. I know that all the
tests are for my benefit to establish my health at this time. I admit that this
office knows more about me than any other medical staff has in years. Today we
start dumping old garden stuff in the new compost bin.
At Sutter at 8AM, out at 8:20 with samples left for
examination and now coffee. The doctor ordered a bunch of tests and that is the
last of them. Now I will clean house for Rosalie and Michele’s visit this
afternoon. I am looking forward to our conversation. We are from isolation pods
so we wear masks and sit apart. The words are warm and intimate and that is
what we need. Later a trip to the chiropractor again. My low back is still
pinging.
Two and a half hours of
medical tests and I’m totally exhausted. And cold. And hungry. So a
quick post that reminds me that I asked for a new doctor who would actually
know who I am and give me guidance and support. All these tests and a couple more
lab visits and he will know all about me. Next week we will confer about all
the results. The mini-cognitive was interesting on the computer. I did okay but
not fast. The EKG was routine.
More strong wind but the good news is the sun is shining.
Laundry, at the good old stand-by, proves that I’m operational and planning. First
a trip to the store to get peppermint chocolate for our stash and then the farmers’
market for our produce. I’m enjoying the
green beans and cauliflower. Good day for gathering up dead leaves for the new
compost bin that Chuck is creating. The CD player is being rescued, I hope it
works. I want more music and less TV.
Up and out before 7 AM for a shopping trip to Brookings plus
a much needed haircut. My pantry is well stocked and my hair is manageable. It’s
a beautiful morning and lots of day left for other activities. We will go to
the chiropractor at 3 PM. My twinge is not fixed and stepping up hurts. I will
get a walk and hope for a visit with someone interesting. Three days in a row I
have written in the paper journal. Life is upward.
No jazz but a couple of worthwhile conversations. Yes, I
will be back in church as soon as it’s in the church. I did not enjoy the outside
service although I have great respect for those who have kept us going through
the covid. Chatted politics with a guy on cooper who has to take his Biden sign
in at night to prevent vandalism. What a weird world we are experiencing. I wore
my mask as usual. Big deal today is a massage from Karen.
I reread some of the 84 word blog book looking for a timeline
between the close call with the truck and the collapse on the hill. The tremor started
only three days after the incident. Two notable walking differences happened at
two weeks and four weeks.. Most of the daily posts are the same and not all
that interesting. I’m guessing all the covid routine days will be equally uninteresting.
How can I jazz up my life so I can write interesting posts? Good luck.
Great start for Friday. Beautiful outside and much more positive
inside. I started out with Cat Stevens singing the remake of Tea for the
Tillerman. Hard to believe it’s been 50 years. The music has inspired me to turn
off the TV and write in the paper journal. I need the commentary as this blog
only touches the high spots. I’m glad to keep this going as a writing discipline
and log of activities. The endless timelessness of isolation would not be
chronicled without this.
It’s time to get the worn out plants into the compost.
Yesterday I gave two raspberry canes to Nancy. I hope they grow for her. She has
lots of room and likes to have plants. We
talked about roses and the state of the world. I like to have company and a
brief respite from isolation. No agenda. I may tackle the bookcases. I feel
like digging into the remaining items that are in the house. Hollie needs to
have room for her things.
Yesterday’s board of supervisors meeting lasted four hours! I’m
glad I watched it from home as that is
too long to sit. They bought property for transitional housing. We went to Safeway
at 7 AM. It was a family outing as Chuck went too. We were in and out quickly
as the store was empty. Later, Hollie
and I will walk to famers’ market for
our fresh produce. Then it’s time to get in the yard and pull up the old vegetable
leaves and stems.
Good start on a beautiful morning. A restful night improves
the mood greatly. Today I’m going to
pull old plants up and stack them for the compost bin. It’s time to clean the
yard. I dug potatoes and love having a fresh one with my eggs. The chard and
kale are still growing and may until January. I am seeking new ideas, a
project, or a connection to fill my need for stimulation. I’m not doing it for myself.
Looking for rescue from outside myself.
Misty morning. Woke up with energy and now the laundry is
done and the kitchen is neat. No agenda. Hope for a couple of walks like yesterday.
Maybe today I’ll get my journal open and start to use the ideas Rosalie gave me
on how to track the progress of living well during isolation. While it is
comforting to know that the covid has made separations from our usual routines,
it is not enough to feel well-being. I have friends who offer plans for keeping
well.
Yesterday’s rain brought clean air and a fresh feeling for Sunday.
The visit with Karen Q. was warm and I realized how much I miss her and the
church family. She liked her cups and brought me ginger snaps. Nice exchange. Then
dinner at Megan’s with Ben and his mother. Comfortable group and a delicious dinner
of lasagna, salad and garlic toast.
Today I will get out and walk. It’s been a few days inside. I need the exercise
and the contact with the world.
The visit was a boost in many ways. The socializing and catching
up was comforting. We shared out ways of isolaation coping and gathered strength
from each other. Then I asked them to choose four of the china cups and saucers
from the Tea and stories group. I turned out to be meaningful for Rosalie as
she lost some in a move that had been gifts from a special Aunt. Michele too
felt the connection with the china. I have saved four for Karen Q.
It took inviting Rosalie and Michele to get the vacuum out. Now
the little house is neat and dusted. Rosalie is bringing cookies. I am
determined to improve the quality of my days.
It’s time to live the way I say I want to live and not the want to want to
procrastination. Starting with a domestic
energy, moving to the paper journal and the process of writing How to
Like my Life. It will be part of the program that Rosalie and I have written.
Unhealthy air again. Another day inside and I won’t walk. I
don’t think the masks help a bit with smoke particulates. Hollie and I talked about
the state of our lives with all the limitations and stress. I want to make more
of my time than food and TV. I say that and don’t act on it. I will push today to
clean and sort. At least I can control the way I keep house. Watching the lack of
motivation as a symptom of depression.
Damp, gloomy bad air day, again. Yesterday’s walk helped
with the mood. Even with smoky air, I need the outside activity. Maybe walk to
the farmers’ market with Hollie. They might still have green beans. My house
could use attention but I may wait until Friday when Rosalie and Michele come
to visit. I’m ready to do sorting and purging in the bookcases. Maybe clearing
out another space will give Hollie the urge to bring her things from storage. We still haven’t finished our moving.
Another morning of fog and smoky air. I am tired from a
restless night that was anxious and brought up old memories that I would rather
not review. The blah attitude is also tiring.
I can’t focus and keep distracting
myself with TV. I have been getting my 10K steps from short walks and
rebounder. It is a saving grace to at least do that for my well-being. It isn’t
much of a relief to know that my malaise is wide-spread. I'm doing my best.
Damp cold morning and I may not get dressed. I walked yesterday
and it did improve my mood. I sorted the food cupboards and made some sense of
what I have stored. Lots of soup and beans. I’m feeling the need to clean out
more things from the house and purging, moving them out , or taking them to my
house. I’m wanting to own as few things as I am comfortable doing. It’s seven
months since the move. Megan’s lights help in the gloom.
I told Karen Q. that I would attend the outdoor church
service this morning and I’m going to regrettably renege. It is wet and cold
and I’m not going to sit outside and get chilled. I miss church but that doesn’t
feel right. Two good walks yesterday and I pushed to get them. My gloomy mood
would have preferred a blanket nap on the couch. I felt better when I came home. Later I will
push myself out the door remembering the value of moving.
My ear procedure was almost good. At least it is better and
I can hear out of both ears. We got our flu shots and brought home our favorite meal from Chan’s.
Then a nice long walk in the clearing air and a better night’s sleep. It’s Saturday
but we aren’t going to the market because it is too crowded for covid comfort. I have two
big baking potatoes and will have one of them with chili. I have two Cornish game hens to bake.
I perked up yesterday afternoon and enjoyed it. With the smoky
walk to do errands and the rebounder I had 10K steps. Going to Brookings later
for the ear lavage. No need to shop as I took care of the essentials . We may
stop at Chan’s after the appointment for our favorite Szechwan chow mein. Too smoky
to get out for weeding and I miss it. I want to feel well and have a chance to
be outside as the days grow short and dark early
Safeway at 7 AM and glad for it as it’s the first of October and the place will be mobbed when the banks open. I have food in my refrigerator again. And new items in the pantry. Long texting with Rosalie and Michele saved my isolation from closing completely down. Today the air is better but not good enough for outside activity. I did well using the rebounder and will do it again. I have gained a pound a month and that has to stop.
No miracles. Just another day inside. And today too. Smoky
and I don’t want to go to the market. My mood just bounces around and it’s hard
to focus. I ignored the political farce and glad for it. The Facebook reports
say I saved myself grief. Today I can push moving and use the rebounder often.
Maybe I’ll jump on every commercial on the TV programs that I’ll choose to watch.
Meanwhile, oiling my ears and hoping for an end to the clogged up hearing.
It reached 95 yesterday and took time to cool down. Hot and
smoky again today. I had a sonogram of my aorta this morning and a phone
conversation with my PA. Nothing else on the agenda. It’s uncomfortable outside
and nothing to do inside. Darn. I want something new. Something stimulating and
exciting. I wonder what that could be.
More than TV, Facebook, and e-mail. I have a brain. It has come up with amazing
stuff. What can I put together with what I have.
Too hot to go for walking. Imagine waking up in C, City to
75 degrees! More heat to come and I don’t like it. Karen offered to come and
get me for my massage this afternoon but I want to walk if there is any breeze.
I also enjoy walking after the massage and feeling my body. No progress yet
with clearing my ears. I have oiled them four or five times a day and no relief
. I am weary from straining to hear.
Feeling better today. I’m ready to get busy and use my
energy productively after a day of doing nothing . I have a need to show
something for a day of my life. I will walk to the post office and send off a
check followed by a trip to buy a loaf of bread. Then the yard will call. No
need to water but the weeds liked the rain too. I still need to sit down in the
quiet and plan a new routine.
Serious talk this morning about the nature of daily life and
what to do to make it better. The truth is we are not going back to what we
used to do. I miss singing in church, and communion. They will probably not be
part of the service in the future when we can at least congregate. No volunteering
since both of my places include visitors from far off places. I hope that the Tea
and Stories group can find a way to come together..
Beautiful morning. I’m not feeling rested or well. Laundry
going, floors to attend to and walking are on the agenda. I want to get over
the ear plugged up thing. No progress yet and it is tiring. Getting outside and finding yard
work will help. Might dig potatoes. The last of the Asian pears came off the trees. They have been
juicy and delicious. Time to sit with my journal and design a life routine that
is more healthful than constant TV. I’m worth more.
The best part of yesterday, besides the rain, was picking up
Mexican food in Smith River. The medical appointment didn’t work and I was
disappointed. The ear washing was supposed to have followed four days of oil
use but nobody told me. It was a waste of time and mileage. Now I am determined to fix it myself. I’m
tired. Had anxiety in the night. Today will be quiet and appreciative of what I
have and the clean fresh air. New day, brand new attitude.
The new medical provider is more efficient that anything I
experienced with Sutter. I came home with a plan and appointments for the next month
starting today with a nasal swab to find out why my sinuses are so irritable. I’m
hoping for guidance to make the most of my days. For my age, I’m in good
condition and take care of myself as well as I know how to do. It’s about to
rain and I have some clearing to do to be ready.
The big deal of the day is my new patient interview with the
PA in the Patel office. I’m hoping for a
positive connection after such nothing from the Sutter docs. Later, Hollie and
I may stop at Smith River for Mexican food. They are our favorites. I did lots
of yard work yesterday, had many interesting conversations via text and messaging.
Today will bring more yard clearing as the season is over and it’s time to pull
things out and let the earth rest.
The dark is coming. While I had company yesterday I lit up
the of lights that Megan had istalled on the rafters . The do a
good job of chasing gloom. I’ll be using them a lot. Big meal from Wing Wah
that was enjoyed by family and Laurie. She’s family too. The Idaho branch.
Today I’ll get out for a walk and push past the short ones I’ve been taking. My
sinus congestion is still an issue. I’m not breathing deeply get short of
breath.
Two walks and
a visit with Michele saved the day. I have a bag of apples to process.. Her
writing is coming along and she has more research to do to kccp her story
accurate. It’s really the first chapter of a historical novel. I was hoping her
writing bug would jump onto me but no go at least now yet. Today I want to get
the potatoes dug and a start on a compost pile. Chuck isn’t ready to work on
our new bin.
Never had any
energy or motivation, waited for rain and that didn’t happen until night. Now
it’s a clear warm morning and I’m still
not motivated to move. What’s going on? I will go for a walk. I was not out of
the house at all and I need to push. Once I hit the street, I’ll pick up speed.
(Hope springs eternal). RBGF died and I’m avoiding the news. It’s a serious loss. No news, no
spark, no focus, what do I have this morning?
I feel kind
of wimpy this morning. Too much excitement yesterday. The birthday celebration
was wonderful except for wearing a mask for three hours. I was uncomfortable. The mask makes my
nose run and I struggle for a deep breath. Better learn to do it as it might be
the future behavior for years. Maybe I need a different kind of mask. I’ll look
for one with nose room. I did get to lower it for beer and pizza. The company
was the best part.
Misty and it
was refreshing. Might be more tomorrow. Woke up with an eye to straighten and clean.
Feels good to slick up early. Later, I will walk to the bank and cash my check
for the writing class. Image doing something I love and getting $40. an hour! Then
Rumiano’s for blue cheese, Swiss and chips. Later still, pizza at Rosalie’s for
Karen’s birthday. Big day with domestic tasks, errands, and socializing too. I
am needy for a change from the house arrest mentality
Sinus congestion
again and headache and whine. I’m not happy with the way I feel mentally as
well as physically. Long time awake, wild dreams, poor nights make for slow
mornings. Hollie and I are going to the store early and then to the farmers’
market. Hope to find sting beans again. I am hooked on them and cauliflower. Maybe
getting out will improve my attitude. I need something to bread the house arrest
cabin fever. Julie visited a minute and
tomorrow is Karen’s birthday.
We had a few
minutes of sun late yesterday and it was amazing after a week of smoke filled
sky. This morning is moderately smoky and the air quality is not good. I dug up
a potato to go with my fresh eggs and am ready for a better day. No walking but
maybe close yard puttering and watering. I don’t want another restless wandering
unfocused day. Still ignoring any news other than local. It is too upsetting
and reveals negative attitudes and anti-social behaviors.
Today started
with shower, laundry, clean bedding etc. I had the feeling that if I had any
sense of smell, I would stink! Hope the energy lasts . I did all the routine tasks
like pills, netti pot etc. and felt good about taking care of myself after a
week of sloth and deep sadness. The air
is still unhealthy so I will get my steps on the rebounder again. It’s the best
I can do. At least I’m clean and had a nutritious breakfast.
Miserable
night and no relief from the outside world. Sixth day of toxic air and six
months of covid isolation. No wonder I’m grumpy. My sinus congestion shows no
sign of improving and the one-side hearing makes me uncomfortable. Grumble,
gripe. And yet, I am safe, have family, food, lovely shelter and love. What
else is there? Today I will relax as much as possible, find something diverting
on Netflix and pretend it’s a choice, not a incarceration. The coast is burning
and I’m safe.
Day five of
gloom, murk, and sadness. All the coast is under the cover of smoke and it’s
impossible to avoid the effects. I did get 10K steps yesterday on the rebounder
and expect to do the same today. Since I’m going to watch endless TV. I use
every commercial to go to the sunporch and jog. It is all the exercise that is
possible. Did a lot of snacking and no real meals. Did connect by phone with Rosalie
and text with Karen and Julia.
Another day
of isolation inside of isolation. It is grim and no end in sight. I got teary
and deeply sad from the thoughts to the losses in many different ways. I feel
for the human loss and the animals, insects, birds, brush and trees. Gray landscapes
of the end of dreams. I suppose I will allow myself to sit and stare at TV again.
The paper journal glares at me and waits for my pen to say something about how
I’m living my life.
Yesterday was
a slug day. Imagine, no product except I did make soup. My head congestion is
not helped by the poor air quality. Today, again, nothing. Watch TV and prowl
from window to window. Yes, I could sort drawers. I could sort books in the
house. I could clean and dust. And I won’t do anything. I read a piece on FB
about honoring the ashes in some way as they are the remains of of the trees
and animals. I like the idea..
Hollie made an early trip to the store for necessary
items. I’m grateful for her care. Still not perky. Low day yesterday with smoke
and ashes besides not feeling well. I may not get dressed today. Gasquet evacuated
to the fairgrounds. The eerie calm with ashes falling and the weird colored sky
are enough to make me go back to bed. The dogs are clean and Jake isn’t making
noise with his toenails. I’m using a lot of facebook to keep up with the fires.
Yesterday my
mind was ahead of my body and I ended up doing very little. Just not feeling
well again today. We have to take the dogs to the groomer and go to the tractor
store for dog food. Other than those tasks, I’m going to do nothing. I love opening
my blinds in the morning and seeing the roses. The variety of colors and the
beauty to start the day are amazing. The smoke is very bad and I don’t want to
go out.
Cleaned out
the corner of the dining room and brought a bunch of office stuff to my house
plus other items from the bathroom. Soon I will be out of the house and living
with what I choose to own. I don’t enjoy the heatwave. It was 80 yesterday and
more today. I’m cooling the house with doors and windows open until 9 AM and
then close it up. I weeded the rose garden and will bring duff from under the
hedge for ground cover.
Orange smoky sun.
I woke up with domestic energy and cleaned the kitchen. Only took half an hour.
Love having a small space. Yesterday we planted the yellow rose. Now it’s mine.
No plans. Another Sunday without church. I want to clean the ground cover from
the rose garden and clean the greenhouse. Always yard work. My paper journal is
calling for an inventory and I will do it. It has helped me ground and plan.
Loose ends bother me. Time to finish the moving.
Beautiful
morning. I dug a hole for the yellow rose that Shaun is going to bring later. I
have admired the deep color and it will fit fine next to my gate. It’s Labor
Day weekend and we will stay home. The town is full of tourists. Rude and
unmasked so we avoid public places. The massage
was also deep and wonderful. Karen does a good job for me especially my neck
and lower back. I like her extra care with Reiki and crystal bowls.
Rosalie had
made a place in the side yard with chairs and tables at social distance and
still close for conversation. Enjoyable and doable in Covid times. Later I will
walk to Karen’s for massage. I’m looking forward to that as my back is sore from the shovel event when I cleaned the
roots out from behind the gas tank. I may have overdone a bit. The roses are beautiful.
I was happy to tell David that I ma taking good care of his gifts..
Wow, waking
up with an event in store! Today I’ll walk to Karen’s and then we will go to seaquake
to pick up pizza and growlers to take to David and Rosalie’s garden. The sun
will be out by then and they have arranged chairs and tables for social instancing
and conversation. This new normal can
still be friendly and comfortable. It’s my treat and I’m happy to have a chance
to pay back for their generosity with plants and time. Out for a walk.
Foggy and
damp for a start. Will walk to market for green beans and cauliflower. Later I will
meet Ellen to give her a dozen of Megan’s flock eggs. I’m glad Megan thought to
share with her as she is so generous with us. My house is clean and I have rearranged
another place. I’m guessing the shifting will happen for a while as things
migrate from the house and Hollie gets her things from storage. I’m comfortable
and I enjoy the space. New life.
September
already and I notice the dark coming fast. Time to plan for thriving and not giving
in to seasonal depression. The LED lights help so much more than I thought they
would. I’m glad for the yellow paint. Today I will get out early for a walk as the
wind is coming again. It was too strong to enjoy walking yesterday. Chuck is
making buckets of soil for planting. It’s too late for starting new crops. I
love picking kale for my breakfast omelet
I watched a
Netflix called The Discovery that was thought provoking. I may watch it again.
I missed some dialogue from the young lady character. It’s worth the time.
Hollie and I were at Freddies’ at 7:15, out at 8, then Grocery Outlet next, out
at 8:45 plus she bought gas. That was an efficient and productive visit to Brookings.
Now I’m settled back to covid routine and will get out and walk in the warm
wind. I enjoyed the change and the drive too.
Same old Sunday
without church. I don’t want to go to Gayle’s house as it was too hard to hear.
I’ll hope we get back in the building soon. Just walking, watering, and
puttering in the yard today following laundry and straightening up the house.
Both minor accomplishments but it will have
to do for now. I am not motivated to sort or purge drawers yet. That will
happen when it rains. Not reading, not writing. Way too much television and reruns.
I have Netlix.
Two hour
lunch with Michele. The spot we wanted on Pebble Beach was closed for a film
crew making a Nissan commercial so we found a tree at the park and had our huge
sandwiches. Then we walked to the plaque about the land gift from the Sauce
brothers. She is interested in old time lumbering for her story. Today is kind
of blah and foggy. The usual routine is in place so walking and weeding are the agenda again. The
season change is obvious.
Three good
strong walks yesterday and one trip to the store this morning. Feeling better.
I have to pay attention when walking or I slip into slow and wobbly. It’s up to
me to do it right. Michele and I are going to get a wrap at Art’s Barbecue and go
to the beach for lunch. We are planning togethers frequently as both of us are
social beings who need our connections. Walking and weeding are great but don’t
replace conversation. It’s what is now.
The last
class was full and meaningful. They learned a lot and enjoyed writing. Two of
them said they didn’t know they could write until the class. What more could a
teacher want to hear! They validated the visual prompt and the museum research.
I feel better on this cool morning and hope to be productive like maybe clean
house. For sure, I’ll get out and walk. I need a couple off grocery items too.
Lots of house and yard things I could be doing.
I enjoyed a
long conversation with Eileen yesterday. Caught up on heer news and she heard mine.
I miss friendly socializing a lot. I know I could be connecting more than I have
by e-mail, messaging, facebook eetc. Lot of tcch choices. I’m low energy and shaky
and not in the mood to push. I may not go out and walk. Still get steps on the rebounder.
Last writing class. Boo Hoo. We will listen to stories and evaluate the time
together. Maybe next winter…
My half-birthday!
The first two weeks were normal and then isolation began. So most of my year
has been in place where integration of households still goes on. I have been
weeding and walking, finding ways to be okay in spite of the world going mad.
The best part has been writing class and tomorrow will end it. I need
discipline for reading and writing and staying away from mindless TV. The rest
of my 85th year begins and I want it to be productive .
We planted
seeds in the new bed: onions, beets, and carrots to add to the kale babies. It’s
late but oh well, they either grow or not. The closet project is working out
and I have a bit of folding to do to fit everything in. I like the way it
works. Today I’ll go for a walk. Yesterday all my steps were on the rebounder.
I didn’t want to leave the house. It was warm and humid. The roses are
delightful. I enjoy them.
Peaches,
nectarines, plums, cauliflower, broccoli and green beans. Yes! Refrigerator
full of fresh produce feels like wealth. I had a minor meltdown yesterday about
the closet and sorting and severely purging the items that I know I won’t use.
This covid exhaustion is about loss and grief. Add that to the move and lifestyle
change and I was in tears. Today is much better. I can cope with the closet as
a symbol of adapting to the new normal. My choices, my consequences, my life.
The gas
company tech says it cannot lower the flame. I need to position pots and pans
astride the stove top to have less heat. He did fix the thermostat on the heater
I went the post office early with my health care check as they are slow with
the bad changes going on. I don’t want another late notice when I have sent it
in plenty of time. Hollie and I will go to the farmers’ market later looking
for peaches and Bosc pears.
Started the
day with a red potato harvest. Out under
the lemon tree, digging and scooping up potatoes. I enjoy the process and had a
fresh potato in my breakfast along with sausage and eggs. The gas company tec
is coming later to fix my cook top as it doesn’t go low enough to simmer and as
Megan pointed out, “It burns the heck out of everything” She didn’t tell me until she moved. I can’t
fix things that I don’t know need are brokent.
Writing class
was productive. I conferenced with each of them and felt very teacherly. Two of
them will not be finished by nest week and I hope they will use the first hour
to complete enough to present to the director. I enjoy guiding the process. Today
we will move furniture from Hollie’s room to my closet. She has been wanting
her antique secretary and I can use my chest of drawers. It’s taking time to
get everything integrated and we don’t have to hurry.
Day 177
Cool and damp..
Refreshing. No news about the dog. I left of message of interest at the shelter
and hope to hear something. Maybe he is already rehomed. Farmers’ market this morning. I want green
beans and broccoli. Chuck has the garden box set up and we can plant today,
Later, session seven for writing class. It is rereading, editing, rereading,
editing. Hard work. I enjoy this so much and maybe I will get asked again in
the winter. New LED bulbs brighten my house.
Cool day so I
can get back to weed pulling. More berry vines coming out on the north side.
They come under the fence and I can’t do anything about it. Chuck is building a
garden box that we will plant as soon aas it’s ready. We have onion sets,
carrot, beet, turnip and cabbage seeds for a winter crop. I saw a cute little dog
on the humane society page. May have to find out more about him. We have room
for another dog.
Monday. Cool and
gray. I’ll take it. Don’t like heat! Woke up feeling good after a couple of low
days. Cleaned up and now I’m ready for a busy day in the yard. Chuck is getting
the garden box ready and we have seeds to get our winter garden going. I like
being productive within the limits of activity. We’re getting used to the covid
routine. Hollie and I are planning more integration of our households. She is bringing
boxes from storage. Long range plans.
It will still
be too warm for us coast dwellers but better than 78. I decided not to attend
the morning prayer service at Gayle’s. We could be back in church in a couple
of weeks and I can wait for that. Our congregation is small and we sit apart anyway so let us meet
there. I miss singing the most. All my plants both flowers and vegetables are wet
and doing well. I wish I was. Poor sleep and shakes don’t make me happy.
The massage
knocked me out. Came home and went to sleep. Karen spends time on my neck and
shoulders as those are my tense spots. Later, family talk about the yard
changes and agreements about what needs to be done. Hollie had an emotional day
as she brought home boxes from storage . She realizes that her old life is gone
and settling here is permanent. I’m glad our changes are benefiting all of us.
It’s another hot day. Windows are open for the cool.
Big deal of the
day: massage with Karen. She does deep work and adds her special skills. We are
planning a gettogether with Rosalie and Michele for birthday celebrations
within the covid limitations. It’s already warm outside and calm. Chuck and
Hollie went to Freddie’s early and plan to do some poking around in their storage
unit. There are items that Hollie would like to live with here. I encouraged
her to make this house her home as I am doing in the little house.
Writing class
was great. I sat with each one and listened to their stories and their plans.
They are interesting women and I’m especially pleased that the research day at
the museum influenced their writing. Two will have Tolowas stories, one about
the films made here, and one about early doctors and medicines. Being with them
is stimulating and gives me a chance to use my brain too. A routine day is starting
with a warm and calm morning. There is
always weeding and watering.
Wednesday and
that means writing class. It is the high point of the week. Today they will
write the bones of their stories and write, write, write. Three of them are
ready to go for it without further instruction. The others need guidance to get
going. Yesterday was more vigorous weeding and good walking. That’s the best
kind of isolation day. Five months now and no end in sight. Just grateful for the way we are living. Staying
away from the news is helpful too.
Yesterday I
balanced a vigorous yard cleaning with a food tantrum. I enjoyed filling the
green bin with weeds and will admit that there is not much nutrition in ice
cream and potato chips. Sometimes the anxiety comes out in weird ways. Minnie
is failing fast and I have noticed less presence. Even at cookie time in the evening, she seems vague.
She is my sweet girl and it hurts to see her struggle with seeing and hearing.
It’s damp with fog so no smoke.
Day 168
The morning prayer
service was lovely in the forest setting. I miss singing. Zack’s sermon was on finding
purpose in everyday living. Appropriate at this time of new normal. It was a
productive field trip. They have something, flowers or vegetables, in every square
inch of their property. It gave us ideas for developing the backyard now that
the rocks are gone. Then we went on a trip to the ocean and the many tourists
without masks. We picked up dinner at the Chart Room.
Going to
church at Gayle’s lovely garden. She has
been hosting for a couple of weeks but this is the first time I’m joining. No
singing. No fellowship but lessons and being together. Yesterday was okay. No
thrills or falls. The roses continue to delight me. All the growing things are
happy. Later Chuck and I are going to see Ellen and Art’s garden for ideas to develop
our backyard. They grow a lot of vegetables in raised beds and greenhouses in a
small area.
Poor sleep.
The dogs were restless too. Must have been a full moon. Jake chewed bones and
dragged his bedding around. Minnie dumped my laundry basket and threw the
clothes around. Who knows what was going on for them? I was up a couple of
times and had trouble going back to sleep. No agenda today. Not going to the farmers’
market. I put a Cornish game hen in my little crockpot. Worked well. I added green
pepper, tomatoes, onion, and greens from our own garden.
The hedge is
back to normal size and shape. It is a relief to have it taken care of. I let
things bother me too long. Another example is how long the bird of paradise was
a problem and then, shazam, it’s gone. It’s been a year since to close call
with the truck. I wish I could say that I was fully recovered but in truth I am
not. Antoher example of letting things stick in my mind before I do something about
it.
At the
hospital at 8 for blood testing. Home for coffee and food! I wake up hungry. It’s
damp and cool, good walking weather. The
guy I found is taming the overgrown hedge. It has bothered me waiting for the
lawn guy to do something. It is obvious that they aren’t going to . I’m hoping
Chuck will do the overseeing as I don’t know how to direct the work. Writing
class was wonderful again. They wrote lots and were very tired at 6 PM.
Doctor visit wasn’t informative but I will get bloodwork soon. It’s needs to be fasting and I had a banana. The brain disorder can’t be fixed only helped by keeping myself well and moving. Use Claratin and netti pot etc. All things that I already do. So, I’m off for a walk and will do my best to keep moving and doing what needs to be done. I have no pressing activities until I go to writing class. Today’s processes are character profiles and dialogue.
Wet and cold.
I will walk later after the laundry etc. Best thing yesterday was hot berry crumble
complete with ice cream. Hollie made it with blueberries, raspberries and strawberries.
Yummy. Not much else to say. I’m feeling flat and unrested after another anxious
night. I don’t know how to cope with the constant hypervigilance. Avoiding news
helps as does exercise but I need connections with my people. Today I’ll e-mail,
text, message, and facebook to fill the need. Maybe even a social distance
visit.
Art and Ellen
brought a bag of yellow and patty pan squash for us.. We had a brief visit in
the driveway. Megan stopped to pick up her dogs. She isn’t well and has no health
insurance so I offered her a couple of checks. This place is a medical desert
and we put up with less than substantial care.
Today is another Monday. I might
vacuum. I will walk and find some yard to water and weed. My breakfast included
produce from our garden.
Delicious surprise
yesterday. My Yurok friend Tenayah brought us fresh caught salmon! What a
treat. Chuck barbecued it while Hollie made a luscious salad. I did the yard chores that I set for myself
plus watering and weeding among the roses. Today I’m not going to the outdoor
church service at Gayle’s house. The fog
is on the ground and dripping. I don’t want to sit and get a chill. Next time I
will try it. I walked to Safeway early and it was cold.
Picked a zucchini
and curly kale leaves to add to my eggs and ham. Yummy breakfast. I enjoyed Roz’
first blog. It was about relics on your property. Chuck has been digging up old
barn parts in my backyard. I have lived here 44 years and they barn must have been here in the early 1900’s. I have
neglected a weeding promise to clear the day lilies. I will do it. Berry vines
have infiltrated from across the fence. August begins and it’s the same.
I’m missing a
couple of slices of skin that looked suspicious to Jesse. It’s okay. I have a
lot more. It’s Friday and that used to be good news but now it’s just another
day. Last day of July with no changes in how we are living. This afternoon I’m
going to Karen for massage. It’s been weeks and my body needs her magic
fingers. I’m going to follow Roz’ August blog from England in hopes of writing to
her prompts. Hope to be productive.
The writers
were busy and I was very surprised at what they chose to research. Their
stories will be interesting and different. I was a tad short on energy and let
Karen do the work with them. She is the expert on everything Del Norte and
helped with the most obscure ask. This morning I have a dermatology appointment.
Nothing to show him except the little sores on my lips that appear often. He will comment on the age spots and call them sage spots.
