No miracles. Just another day inside. And today too. Smoky
and I don’t want to go to the market. My mood just bounces around and it’s hard
to focus. I ignored the political farce and glad for it. The Facebook reports
say I saved myself grief. Today I can push moving and use the rebounder often.
Maybe I’ll jump on every commercial on the TV programs that I’ll choose to watch.
Meanwhile, oiling my ears and hoping for an end to the clogged up hearing.
It reached 95 yesterday and took time to cool down. Hot and
smoky again today. I had a sonogram of my aorta this morning and a phone
conversation with my PA. Nothing else on the agenda. It’s uncomfortable outside
and nothing to do inside. Darn. I want something new. Something stimulating and
exciting. I wonder what that could be.
More than TV, Facebook, and e-mail. I have a brain. It has come up with amazing
stuff. What can I put together with what I have.
Too hot to go for walking. Imagine waking up in C, City to
75 degrees! More heat to come and I don’t like it. Karen offered to come and
get me for my massage this afternoon but I want to walk if there is any breeze.
I also enjoy walking after the massage and feeling my body. No progress yet
with clearing my ears. I have oiled them four or five times a day and no relief
. I am weary from straining to hear.
Feeling better today. I’m ready to get busy and use my
energy productively after a day of doing nothing . I have a need to show
something for a day of my life. I will walk to the post office and send off a
check followed by a trip to buy a loaf of bread. Then the yard will call. No
need to water but the weeds liked the rain too. I still need to sit down in the
quiet and plan a new routine.
Serious talk this morning about the nature of daily life and
what to do to make it better. The truth is we are not going back to what we
used to do. I miss singing in church, and communion. They will probably not be
part of the service in the future when we can at least congregate. No volunteering
since both of my places include visitors from far off places. I hope that the Tea
and Stories group can find a way to come together..
Beautiful morning. I’m not feeling rested or well. Laundry
going, floors to attend to and walking are on the agenda. I want to get over
the ear plugged up thing. No progress yet and it is tiring. Getting outside and finding yard
work will help. Might dig potatoes. The last of the Asian pears came off the trees. They have been
juicy and delicious. Time to sit with my journal and design a life routine that
is more healthful than constant TV. I’m worth more.
The best part of yesterday, besides the rain, was picking up
Mexican food in Smith River. The medical appointment didn’t work and I was
disappointed. The ear washing was supposed to have followed four days of oil
use but nobody told me. It was a waste of time and mileage. Now I am determined to fix it myself. I’m
tired. Had anxiety in the night. Today will be quiet and appreciative of what I
have and the clean fresh air. New day, brand new attitude.
The new medical provider is more efficient that anything I
experienced with Sutter. I came home with a plan and appointments for the next month
starting today with a nasal swab to find out why my sinuses are so irritable. I’m
hoping for guidance to make the most of my days. For my age, I’m in good
condition and take care of myself as well as I know how to do. It’s about to
rain and I have some clearing to do to be ready.
The big deal of the day is my new patient interview with the
PA in the Patel office. I’m hoping for a
positive connection after such nothing from the Sutter docs. Later, Hollie and
I may stop at Smith River for Mexican food. They are our favorites. I did lots
of yard work yesterday, had many interesting conversations via text and messaging.
Today will bring more yard clearing as the season is over and it’s time to pull
things out and let the earth rest.
The dark is coming. While I had company yesterday I lit up
the of lights that Megan had istalled on the rafters . The do a
good job of chasing gloom. I’ll be using them a lot. Big meal from Wing Wah
that was enjoyed by family and Laurie. She’s family too. The Idaho branch.
Today I’ll get out for a walk and push past the short ones I’ve been taking. My
sinus congestion is still an issue. I’m not breathing deeply get short of
breath.
Two walks and
a visit with Michele saved the day. I have a bag of apples to process.. Her
writing is coming along and she has more research to do to kccp her story
accurate. It’s really the first chapter of a historical novel. I was hoping her
writing bug would jump onto me but no go at least now yet. Today I want to get
the potatoes dug and a start on a compost pile. Chuck isn’t ready to work on
our new bin.
Never had any
energy or motivation, waited for rain and that didn’t happen until night. Now
it’s a clear warm morning and I’m still
not motivated to move. What’s going on? I will go for a walk. I was not out of
the house at all and I need to push. Once I hit the street, I’ll pick up speed.
(Hope springs eternal). RBGF died and I’m avoiding the news. It’s a serious loss. No news, no
spark, no focus, what do I have this morning?
I feel kind
of wimpy this morning. Too much excitement yesterday. The birthday celebration
was wonderful except for wearing a mask for three hours. I was uncomfortable. The mask makes my
nose run and I struggle for a deep breath. Better learn to do it as it might be
the future behavior for years. Maybe I need a different kind of mask. I’ll look
for one with nose room. I did get to lower it for beer and pizza. The company
was the best part.
Misty and it
was refreshing. Might be more tomorrow. Woke up with an eye to straighten and clean.
Feels good to slick up early. Later, I will walk to the bank and cash my check
for the writing class. Image doing something I love and getting $40. an hour! Then
Rumiano’s for blue cheese, Swiss and chips. Later still, pizza at Rosalie’s for
Karen’s birthday. Big day with domestic tasks, errands, and socializing too. I
am needy for a change from the house arrest mentality
Sinus congestion
again and headache and whine. I’m not happy with the way I feel mentally as
well as physically. Long time awake, wild dreams, poor nights make for slow
mornings. Hollie and I are going to the store early and then to the farmers’
market. Hope to find sting beans again. I am hooked on them and cauliflower. Maybe
getting out will improve my attitude. I need something to bread the house arrest
cabin fever. Julie visited a minute and
tomorrow is Karen’s birthday.
We had a few
minutes of sun late yesterday and it was amazing after a week of smoke filled
sky. This morning is moderately smoky and the air quality is not good. I dug up
a potato to go with my fresh eggs and am ready for a better day. No walking but
maybe close yard puttering and watering. I don’t want another restless wandering
unfocused day. Still ignoring any news other than local. It is too upsetting
and reveals negative attitudes and anti-social behaviors.
Today started
with shower, laundry, clean bedding etc. I had the feeling that if I had any
sense of smell, I would stink! Hope the energy lasts . I did all the routine tasks
like pills, netti pot etc. and felt good about taking care of myself after a
week of sloth and deep sadness. The air
is still unhealthy so I will get my steps on the rebounder again. It’s the best
I can do. At least I’m clean and had a nutritious breakfast.
Miserable
night and no relief from the outside world. Sixth day of toxic air and six
months of covid isolation. No wonder I’m grumpy. My sinus congestion shows no
sign of improving and the one-side hearing makes me uncomfortable. Grumble,
gripe. And yet, I am safe, have family, food, lovely shelter and love. What
else is there? Today I will relax as much as possible, find something diverting
on Netflix and pretend it’s a choice, not a incarceration. The coast is burning
and I’m safe.
Day five of
gloom, murk, and sadness. All the coast is under the cover of smoke and it’s
impossible to avoid the effects. I did get 10K steps yesterday on the rebounder
and expect to do the same today. Since I’m going to watch endless TV. I use
every commercial to go to the sunporch and jog. It is all the exercise that is
possible. Did a lot of snacking and no real meals. Did connect by phone with Rosalie
and text with Karen and Julia.
Another day
of isolation inside of isolation. It is grim and no end in sight. I got teary
and deeply sad from the thoughts to the losses in many different ways. I feel
for the human loss and the animals, insects, birds, brush and trees. Gray landscapes
of the end of dreams. I suppose I will allow myself to sit and stare at TV again.
The paper journal glares at me and waits for my pen to say something about how
I’m living my life.
Yesterday was
a slug day. Imagine, no product except I did make soup. My head congestion is
not helped by the poor air quality. Today, again, nothing. Watch TV and prowl
from window to window. Yes, I could sort drawers. I could sort books in the
house. I could clean and dust. And I won’t do anything. I read a piece on FB
about honoring the ashes in some way as they are the remains of of the trees
and animals. I like the idea..
Hollie made an early trip to the store for necessary
items. I’m grateful for her care. Still not perky. Low day yesterday with smoke
and ashes besides not feeling well. I may not get dressed today. Gasquet evacuated
to the fairgrounds. The eerie calm with ashes falling and the weird colored sky
are enough to make me go back to bed. The dogs are clean and Jake isn’t making
noise with his toenails. I’m using a lot of facebook to keep up with the fires.
Yesterday my
mind was ahead of my body and I ended up doing very little. Just not feeling
well again today. We have to take the dogs to the groomer and go to the tractor
store for dog food. Other than those tasks, I’m going to do nothing. I love opening
my blinds in the morning and seeing the roses. The variety of colors and the
beauty to start the day are amazing. The smoke is very bad and I don’t want to
go out.
Cleaned out
the corner of the dining room and brought a bunch of office stuff to my house
plus other items from the bathroom. Soon I will be out of the house and living
with what I choose to own. I don’t enjoy the heatwave. It was 80 yesterday and
more today. I’m cooling the house with doors and windows open until 9 AM and
then close it up. I weeded the rose garden and will bring duff from under the
hedge for ground cover.
Orange smoky sun.
I woke up with domestic energy and cleaned the kitchen. Only took half an hour.
Love having a small space. Yesterday we planted the yellow rose. Now it’s mine.
No plans. Another Sunday without church. I want to clean the ground cover from
the rose garden and clean the greenhouse. Always yard work. My paper journal is
calling for an inventory and I will do it. It has helped me ground and plan.
Loose ends bother me. Time to finish the moving.
Beautiful
morning. I dug a hole for the yellow rose that Shaun is going to bring later. I
have admired the deep color and it will fit fine next to my gate. It’s Labor
Day weekend and we will stay home. The town is full of tourists. Rude and
unmasked so we avoid public places. The massage
was also deep and wonderful. Karen does a good job for me especially my neck
and lower back. I like her extra care with Reiki and crystal bowls.
Rosalie had
made a place in the side yard with chairs and tables at social distance and
still close for conversation. Enjoyable and doable in Covid times. Later I will
walk to Karen’s for massage. I’m looking forward to that as my back is sore from the shovel event when I cleaned the
roots out from behind the gas tank. I may have overdone a bit. The roses are beautiful.
I was happy to tell David that I ma taking good care of his gifts..
Wow, waking
up with an event in store! Today I’ll walk to Karen’s and then we will go to seaquake
to pick up pizza and growlers to take to David and Rosalie’s garden. The sun
will be out by then and they have arranged chairs and tables for social instancing
and conversation. This new normal can
still be friendly and comfortable. It’s my treat and I’m happy to have a chance
to pay back for their generosity with plants and time. Out for a walk.
Foggy and
damp for a start. Will walk to market for green beans and cauliflower. Later I will
meet Ellen to give her a dozen of Megan’s flock eggs. I’m glad Megan thought to
share with her as she is so generous with us. My house is clean and I have rearranged
another place. I’m guessing the shifting will happen for a while as things
migrate from the house and Hollie gets her things from storage. I’m comfortable
and I enjoy the space. New life.
September
already and I notice the dark coming fast. Time to plan for thriving and not giving
in to seasonal depression. The LED lights help so much more than I thought they
would. I’m glad for the yellow paint. Today I will get out early for a walk as the
wind is coming again. It was too strong to enjoy walking yesterday. Chuck is
making buckets of soil for planting. It’s too late for starting new crops. I
love picking kale for my breakfast omelet
