Day 97

Damp morning and I will get outside for a walk.. One day in the house and I’m ready for fresh air and exercise. The news caught me yesterday and I’m sorry I let it take over as I feel weepy and forlorn from the intensity. I’ll watch Morning Prayer on my phone and wish I was singing and praying with my church family. I miss them so much. I admire how much has been done by a few to keep us together by tech means.

Day 96

Day 96

Mother Nature added to the chaos of mob violence with a wild wind, thunder, lightning, and hail storm in the night. The national news is horrifying and intense. I will limit exposure to it today. Linda Lee visited briefly and brought me a most welcome book of positive advice for aging. It will be my companion on this day inside. Hollie will brave the elements for the farm stand visit and I’m grateful for her and  fresh produce including strawberries, broccoli, spinach, and baby zucchini.

Day 95

Hollie took me to Walmart at 7 AM.. We zipped around and were home by 7:40. I was surprised by the empty shelves and warnings about limits on some items. Nevertheless, I was out and in a store and that is not happening much. The news is so sad with the burning and mob scenes that I am avoiding as it is upsetting and there is nothing I can do but pray. It’s very damp out and I will walk. Lots of weeds died yesterday.

Day 94

I wished to remember my dreams as I wake up feeling as if I  had worked all night Last night I woke up and reviewed the dram. I couldn’t find a phone. I was late for a meeting. I lost my map. Nobody was hearing me. I ran and ran to find someone.  Jeremy Taylor said that if you can’t find help in a dream, it’s because you don’t need help. The sore spot in my solar plexus thinks I need help. Deep breathing helps

Day 93

Another loss and it went right inside me. Megan has self-isolated  due to having company from Portland. We can’t see her for at least two weeks. I realize how important her visits have become. I saw her every day before our living changes and since then, once a week for sure. No hugs but catch-up conversations that were fun. Another day of the same routine. As long as I can walk I am somewhat connected to the outside. There are plenty of weeds to clear

Day 92

Yesterday was vigorous and I used my energy to clear the perimeter of the greenhouse.  I don’t want invaders so I will mess up their environment. Today will be a replay with the isolation routine going on and on. Walking and yard work are my saving graces. There have been interesting texting conversations and I’m grateful for them. It’s the new way of keeping close so we don’t turn into complete dummies. I  hope I don’t forget how to carry on a real life connection.

Day 91

Sunny Memorial Day morning. I have a crooked purple toe from an awkward move that may limit my walking Yesterday I was very tired by the time I was almost home. I don’t like the woozy balance that happens when I get tired. It may be part of the brain disorder. It’s been eight months with no repeat of the collapse. The greenhouse is thriving and I pulled a million weeds around the edges hoping to keep them from  invading the way the raspberries are.

Day 90

Another Sunday without church. I will watch on my phone but it’s not satisfying. I need to be in the gathering. Lots of walking yesterday plus a wonderful short visit with Mary and Allen.  Great people and my reward for taking the risk of teaching creative writing for the vets program.  I often appreciate the people I have met through volunteering . People I would not know if I just stayed home. I will miss going off the fill a need. Times change, darn it.

day 89

Lots of good walking and will again today. It’s windy but doable with bundling up. The wind keep making the greenhouse open and I don’t have any way of making it tight but it still serves. I’m staying away from news and reading.  Makes a difference and news is  so repetitive now that it isn’t new. Doing better in the mood and attitude department. The routine doesn’t feel as restrictive so I guess I’ve achieved acceptance again. All the emotions are on a ferris wheel.

Day 88

In spite of sleeping fairly well, I am tired and shaky again. Sunny and very cold so I will bundle up to go for a walk with Hollie toward the beach. I enjoy her company as so much of my walking is solitary. The numbers are increasing so home is safety. I’ll enjoy the yard and pull weeds and water the greenhouse plants. The tomatoes and peppers are doing well. I yearn for something new and stimulating. Creative would be a plus. Life goes on.

Day 87

We had a long family visit with plans for more furniture moving from storage here, from here to Megan’s house, and what I asked for too. We had a good open discussion and I find that I have little to no attachment to things including books. This wonderful event has made all of us grateful for our abundance and our willingness to help each other. Today the dogs get their hair and nails done. The outlook is for more isolation plus some public careful outings.

Day 86

Another day to ponder, plan, and, hopefully, satisfy my need for well-being. The sun and outside chores work best. I can use my energy in a way that I can see results. I have already done laundry and put on my clean bedding. Good start. I will make a groomer appointment for Jake and Minnie and maybe the vet is taking appointments for their well dog yearly exams. Absolutely get at least one walk. The family life is working well. Megan will visit after work.

Day 85

The two new tomato plants will go in the greenhouse. They are ready. I’ll trek to the tractor store for dog supplies: kibble, cookies and canned food. Might get to Wild Rivers to use my gift certificate and buy a fancy sandwich and a sweet treat. I am feeling more energetic than I have in a week. Must be the better sleep with the dogs not waking me up too early.  No miraculous insights into the meaning of life.  Just adjusting to what is now.

Day 84

Wet, cold. Today the new toilet will be installed and I’m glad. Megan’s little one doesn’t serve after using a tall one. Nothing else to look forward to .Maybe a walk if the weather helps. The local news makes it certain that I will be in isolation longer due to an increase in cases. It’s okay. I have garden to take of and a comfortable house to live in, family support, and communication with friends via tech stuff.  The sun is making the rhody glow.

Day 83

I went with Hollie to take the greens to Megan’s poultry farm and then to the farm stand for a load of goodies. It is good to get out for a while even though I am not free to do anything. It’s cold and wet so I’m guessing that my new shoes will have to wait to fulfill their potential. I can watch morning prayer on Facebook. Long conversation with a stressed Susanne. I suggested that she go outside and enjoy the colors of spring.

Day 82

I followed through on the plan and cleaned the greenhouse, dug potatoes and moved the good soil into the place where the bird was. Felt good to move productively and was the basis for gratitude at the end of the day. Had a walkl with Hollie and one to the PO. It’s raining again and that  puts the walking aside except for the jogging on the rebounder. I had good food and went to art’s bbq for a plate that makes three meals for me.

Day 81

Sun! Makes a wonderful difference in mood and motivation. Today I will be outside for yard work and walking and enjoying the respite from the rain. The BOS on zoom was confusing and I’m not sure I know the outcome. Either the county will reopen motels or not depending on who reports. Oh well, my life won’t change. I’m in isolation for the long haul. Thank goodness for the internet and telephone. Good nutrition is on the agenda again and exercise. That’s life for now.

Day 80

Plan for the day: shower, eat well, exercise, limit TV, read, and watch the rain. Oh well, sounds like yesterday and probably tomorrow too. I am heartened by the reports that isolation fatigue is everywhere. There are mental health people who are helping when the symptoms overwhelm.  Talking with Hollie and my friends on facebook, text and e-mail keep the loneliness down. Today I will watch the special BOS meeting on opening motels and b&bs to allow the virus in. Sure it will be noisy.

Day 79

Two months of self-isolation and one month relocated and comfortable. Yesterday was a big step activity and mood. I can do this and do it well. I have tools and memory. Today I started out with stretches, mat exercises and felt how much I have lost with sitting. Daily walks are not enough. I have made promises that I can keep and enjoy the satisfaction at the end of the day. That is all there is: living each day as well and completely as possible.

Day 78

Rosalie gave me a pep talk yesterday by e-mail and sent me to my paper journal to record plans, gratitude, details of health, nutrition, physical tasks, mental well-being, quiet for spiritual health, and reaching out for connections. Thanks for friendship and much needed lift of mood. It’s pouring and cold so I will be inside again and enjoying my space. Lots of vegs to go into soup, my favorite meal. The exercise mat has reappeared in my living room. I will have a satisfying day.

Day 77

I had my tantrum and wallowed as long as I could stand myself and now I’m back to what seems to be normal.   It’s wet out so no gardening. If we get a break, I’ll walk. Meanwhile, no housework is necessary, no shopping is needed, so how will I use my day that is more satisfying than yesterday?  Reaching out by e-mail, text, phone calls. Think gratitude thoughts about how safe, secure, warm, and fed I am. The dogs are fine. Jake has recovered

SSay 76

Another day. Sunday without church.  May without sunshine. Dreary inside too. Rosalie is writing her grief. I’m just eating mine. I will walk around the block and maybe find weeds to move. Don’t know yet. Maybe nap and stare at TV. Oh, this is not my style. Time to have a brisk talk with myself about pursuing a healthy routine. I don’t know about writing. Nothing new to say. Nothing I’ve learned from the isolation except how much I miss my friends. I need socializing

Day 75

Troubling night thoughts that deprive me of rest and make morning bleary. It’s the lack of future activities. I know there will be no volunteering for a long time, maybe never and the days will be my small safe living routine where a walk is the star production.  Not good to feel useless and depressed. This morning Hollie took me to Walmart.  I haven’t been in a store for seven weeks and it was exciting to make choices. What can I do to improve daily living?

Day 74

Low and slow again this morning. Not feeling like doing anything and challenging myself to move anyway. I no longer know if it’s me or the world that is causing the stress. More dirt therapy today. Chuck moved lots of weeds and now the rocks are due to be moved. I like the looks of the yard and can kind of plan for how to use it when it’s grass. I will push walking again.  Don’t enjoy this flat mood that has nothing to anticipate.

Day 73

Lots of work with the weed patch in back. Chuck pulled too and I see the shape of the new yard. It needs to be leveled and planted with grass. Nice future yard in place of rocks and weeds. I had a couple of walks in the wind and pushed myself to walk stronger. Also took lots of stretching on the rebounder. Megan came for a long visit and we talked about the heater and the stove. Helped me get used to how they work.

Day 72

Watching the removal of the bird was fun. I like watching the man-planning mind. He dug a trench around and then dug deeper and deeper to get under the sides. When he could finally get it to move, he manhandled it out of ground and his wife tugged the sections to the truck. Now I have the battle ground to recover. Lots of wild violets grow there. I walked to Karen’s for a brief visit. Today, more backyard clearing and enjoying the sun, and walking.

Day 71

Charlie Perry is coming  to dig up the Bird of Paradise. I hope he can do it as I no longer want it. I can’t get behind it to keep an air space and that wall gets storms. The window is broken too. Jake is a little better this morning. I’m rooting for him to get well. It’s sad to see my little dog lethargic as he is usually bouncing around. Maybe get to Wild Rivers for a big deli-style sandwich with my gift certificate.

Day 70

Computer is home. Not comfortable with the changes yet. I may need a tutor for a while. The good news is that I have an agenda for the day! I get to walk to Walgreen's to pick up my eye drops and then to the tractor store for dog food. The rest of the day is open and I'm looking hard for something new to fill the rime. Guess weeds are still present and of course more walking. Or I could clean house. That takes about half an hour. Didn't count these words, Oh ell, That's all for the day.

Day 69

I wish I had my computer back. writing seems harder on paper and counting the works sis tiresome. Grumpy again. Sum today. Hollie and i  planted seeds and were surprised by zucchini sprouts poking up in the wading pool planter. i had a short walk to the back. The ATM was out of service. Jake is a little better. I sure hope he make it. This daily repeat of yesterday and tomorrow doesn't lad to creative activities. I sure could use my time better.

Day 68

Yesterday Jake go hold of rat poison and was seriously sick. Megan and Hallie took him to the vet and he is recovering. I'mm tired and weary from all the stuff going on and restless too. Cold and wet. good day for TV movies. TV and naps are not enough and the wt was too much so I was wistful and careful no to go flat. Jake ate two meals and slept all day. He is weak and wobble. I hope he make it back.

Day 67

May 1st. Shall I wear a red sweatshirt or a maroon one? I'm need for activity. Some days walking and weeding are not enough. I am needy for socializing. Grey and cold. Must do something new and interesting. I haven't been this restless in a long time. maybe it's because I want to be at the visitors center working with Marj and Michelle .Hollie and I walked to the cheese store then walked around the block. Here's to a good month.

Day 66

slow start -wobbly and tired. I need solid sleep. Minnie keeps waking me up before 4 M. I think there something wrong with her and no vet visits at this time. I'm figuring out how to live with a support system. I've lived alone since 1983 and am quite accustomed to making decisions on my own. Chuck and Hollie are doing so much to take care of me and the property and I'm getting used to  it. Short walk didn't help with my grouchy mood. life's new normal.

Day 65

Sunny morning and I have already planted bell peppers and roma tomatoes in the green house. Felt good. I need to clean the greenhouse floor of weeds and pesky raspberries that keep sneaking in. Long text conversation with Sandi as she is healing from the loss of her mother. Long private message with Jackie about the impending loss of her daughter to cancer. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. We belong to a club that no one wants to join. Good dirt therapy too.

Day 64

Yesterday a the tractor store while getting dog food, I noticed that everyone had a mask. I was glad to see it. The computer will take a while and I miss my morning routine. I'll do weakling and weeding again. That'st's all. The isolation fatigue has to be challenged  or I would sit, eat, and watch TV.. Wish I had a creative surge. Aside from looking at the bare deck and planning colorful plants, I have done nothing.. Two long walks felt good. stopped an bought Mexican lunch.

Day 63

Wet out. I'm glad I did yard work yesterday including digging potatoes. Art and Ellen visited and brought fresh sauerkraut from their trip to Cosco. Nice to have a face to face visit even far apart and brief. When it gets warmer I will walk, move a lot to  help with the restlessness. Hollie brought ginger snaps and they have bite and crunch. Both are welcome. I miss my computer. It's going to need a new hard drive. One more change of normal routine..

Day 62

Grumpy . Minnie woke me up at 4 am whining to go out. Then she demanded breakfast and I missed an hour of sleep. Dinner will be later today in hopes of a longer night. I like to  ave some kind of score at the end of the day. Three days in a row I've walked the long block. No score for the usual activities like volunteering or Tea and stories. There was a nice collection of communications: e-mails, texts, Facebook and messages. Good but no hugs.

Day 61

No computer for a while so i will keep track of the days in my paper journal. My claim to fame for yesterday  was walking the long block, 5500 steps. I haven't' done that for a a long time. Today I am hoping to do it again. I need to move for well-being. Too much TV and sitting lead to soggy motivation. Still moving things around to most useful and comfortable places. Hollie shopped and brought pretzels and humus. My favorite snack. Dull mood so I'll go air myself out.